Wednesday, November 21, 2012

2012 Apple Cup Preview

When I turned 40 last month I decided it was time to become a grown up.  I would give people the benefit of the doubt and an opportunity to acknowledge their faults and weaknesses.  In an effort to become a better person I extended an olive branch to Washington St. Cougar fans worldwide.  Before the Apple Cup on Friday I vowed not to post any painful truths about their football team if at least 10 people told me the UW was better than WSU.  I gave Cougar fans 24 hours to comply, but there was no response.  Now back to the regularly scheduled programming.

As Evelyn Lozada would say WSU football is a non-fu*king factor in the Pac 12.  The Mike Leach experiment has been a total disaster and his current players are a bunch of wussies.  Anytime you have a scholarship athlete quitting the program because the coaches don't talk nice to them you know your team is soft.  Truth be told I can't name a single player on WSU's pathetic roster.  And who cares anyway?  They've lost every game in the conference so why should I pay attention?

Then there's my beloved UW huskies, winners of 4 straight (make it 5 after Friday) and currently ranked in the AP top 25.  The Huskies had one of the toughest schedules in college football, but they will still end up with 8 wins after Friday.  The Cougars will end up 2-10.  Imagine what they could have done if they had Keith Price, Bishop Sankey, Shaq Thompson, Kasen Williams, and Austin Sefarian-Jenkins on their squad?

Let's be honest here.  It's hard to compete with a school that is the #4 public university in America, has the 10th best campus, and is located in a city with the nation's #1 economy.  It would be unrealistic to expect a school in Pullman, WA to have the resources to stay competitive.  Not bragging, just simply the truth.  Comparing the University of Washington to Washington St. is like comparing a diamond to a cubic Zirconia or a Bentley to a Chrysler 300.  They both serve the same function, but one has much higher value than the other.  The Apple Cup on Friday will be a blood bath, a beat down on the level of Vin Diesel vs. the Idaho thug in Knockaround Guys.

Don't get me wrong, I associate with Cougars.  Some of my best friends are Cougars.  I've even had some Cougars in my house before.  They're hard working, proud people.  It's not their fault they don't have access to a billionaire alumni association and top caliber football recruits.  The Cougars do the best they can with what they have.  To Cougar fans worldwide don't take the 2012 Apple Cup ass kicking personally.  It's only business.


  1. Cougar football is in a tough spot right now, it's taking a lot longer to grasp Leach's system then anyone thought and his attitude can be tough for some athletes and fans to tolerate. It's going to take some time to get the players he wants, and to get rid of the soft players on the roster now...which I'm sad to say is probably most of them. The Husky's look tough right now...but away from plush Century Link Field they have not played well (Colorado doesn't count). I think the Husky's will win handily, but as usual anything can happen in this game and with it being played in Pullman I think it'll be close...I hope anyway:)

    As a Cougar alumni who grew up on the west side of the mountains I like both teams, and root for the Huskies whenever they are not playing the Cougs. Even if the Cougs lose the game I can still remind Husky fans of an 0-12 bad as the Cougs are this year (and most years) they haven't matched that rare and humiliating accomplishment. GO COUGS!!!

  2. Dear Clevie Wonders.
    Your hilarious. Did you not notice your bragging on a 7 & 4 team. 7 & 4. Not 10 & 1, but 7 and 4. Get it, with billionaire alumni (assumption with all your pride this group includes you), the 10th Best Campus (for what...Weed?), in what is unquestionably one of the best cities in the country, and you have a 7 & 4 team. ABSOLUTELY hilarious. Ummm....Good for 4th place.

    Do us a favor and post your diploma(?) before you post some more of your fanatic B.S.

    Can't wait to see what you come up with next; Poppin' your collar because your wife has a cute boyfriend, Bragging on the Bentley that your detailing for a Coug Alumni, or puffin' our chest out because Vin Diesel accepts your FB Friend request?

    Congrats on 4th place in the 6 team Pac-12 North Division.

    Hilarious. LMFAO. Thanks.

    Love Duck.

    1. @Duck: It will be 8 wins after Friday. You should go to the official Husky website and see all of the national accomplishments I left off this list. Then again as a Cougar it will probably just depress you even more. At least you guys have a great veterinarian school. When my puggle gets sick I'll send him to a Coug doctor.

  3. Thanks for the read. You're right, the Husky faithful will never live down the 0-12 season!

  4. Look who's talkin you stinkin Knob Gobbler

  5. Look who's talking indeed. I will go to my scheduled therapy session now.