Saturday, November 13, 2010

Sports Nicknames

The world of sports can never have enough nicknames. The more colorful the better. I've made it my personal goal to give basketball players Blake Griffin and Derrick Rose new nicknames. From here on out Blake Griffin shall be referred to as Blake "The Barbarian" Griffin. I did extensive research on the subject and anyone who's seen the movie Conan the Barbarian will recognize the similarities between Blake and Conan the main character (Arnold Schwartzenegger's breakout role). Derrick Rose will now be referred to as Mr. Funky. If you've ever seen Derrick cross over on someone then explode for a 2 hand jam you'll know where I'm coming from. He also gets his own theme music, Funky Child by Lords of the Underground. It's a grass roots movement so I'll need the help of my fans, friends, family, and followers to get it going. Tell anybody who will listen. Me quest to rename these players got me thinking of my favorite nicknames of all time. Here's the list I came up with.


"The Manster" Randy White. Half man, half monster? One of the greatest Cowboys of all time Randy White wreaked havoc from the defensive end position in the 70's and 80's.

"The Nigerian Nightmare" Christian Okoye. At 6'1 260 pounds running a 4.4 Christian Okoye kept many a defensive back awake at night. Steve Atwater is the only man I ever saw stop him in his tracks.

"The Kansas Comet" Gayle Sayers. The original Reggie Bush, Gayle Sayers was as elusive and fast as his nickname would indicate.

Raghib "The Rocket" Ismail. A nickname so catchy they nicknamed his little brother "The Missile."

"The Playmaker" Michael Irvin. I'm not sure there's ever been a more fitting nickname in all of sports. When you need a completion, a first down, or a touchdown you turn to Big Mike.


Julius "Dr. J" Erving. Mr. Erving was bestowed his nickname by Rucker Park fans because he operated so well on the court. True story.

Earvin "Magic" Johnson. A nickname so synonymous with the person I bet half of the people reading this didn't even know his real name was Earvin.

Darrell Griffith AKA "Dr. Dunkenstein." I once had a poster with Darrell wearing a lab coat holding 2 half basketballs in his hand like a scientist. One of the greatest dunkers of all time.

Dominique Wilkins AKA "The Human Highlight Film." Dominique was a better dunker than Michael Jordan, there's no question about it. The way he got robbed in the 1988 slam dunk contest will forever live in infamy!

"The Skywalker" David Thompson. Before Luther Campbell or Mark Hamil there was David Thompson. The 44 inch vertical was no joke.


"The Terminator" Jeff Reardon. When you saw this guy coming out of the bullpen it was curtains for you.

"The Sandman" Mariano Rivera. Cue the Metalica. Mariano Rivera is as responsible for the Yankees dynasty as anyone.

"The Natural" Will Clark. I have a good friend that loves this guy so I'll give him a little plug. He also goes by the nickname of Will "The Thrill" Clark.

Pete Rose AKA "Charlie Hustle". Over the years this nickname has become more and more fitting hasn't it?

Reggie Jackson AKA "Mr. October." The perfect way to describe how clutch this guy was. Not too many people get a candy bar named after them.


Thomas "The Hit Man" Hearns. The name speaks for itself.

James "Bonecrusher" Smith. A big, mean, ugly man who might rip your spleen out.

Hector "Macho" Camacho. He talked the talk, but he walked the walk..

Bernard "The Executioner" Hopkins. He might still be fighting when he's 50.

Roberto Duran AKA "Hands of Stone." I can imagine those punches really hurt.


Tito Ortiz AKA "The Huntington Beach Bad Boy." The name fits his personality and demeanor.

Jens Pulver AKA "Little Evil." The name conjures up images of Damien in the Omen or an exorcist child. Nice image for a UFC champion.


  1. Fun article, thanks Cleavon!

    I have always loved Karl "the Mailman" Malone. Always delivers! Through rain, sleet, hail or snow :-)

    and of course Shawn "Baby Daddy" Kemp...oh wait, that wasn't his official nickname, just the mom's of his 14 illegitimate kids, hehe.