Bowling Is The Next Big Thing

This is the most difficult blog I've ever written. It's the most difficult because I feel like someone is going to take my incredible idea and make billions of dollars with it. I'm taking a leap of faith that I can trust you guys so here it goes. When I win the lotto or become a world famous novelist I am going to buy the PBA tour. Thats right, the Professional Bowlers Association tour. I'm going to make it bigger than anyone's ever imagined. The motivating factor behind this ingenious idea? The movie Kingpin. Everytime I watch Kingpin and see the classic showdown between Roy Munson and Big Earn McCracken I cant help but wonder why isn't bowling really like that? It's easy to relate to, everbody's done it, and you don't have to be super tall, strong, or fast to excel at it. Bowling is an untapped goldmine. Here's my plan for taking the sport to higher heights.

1. Add some trash talking. None of the bowlers currently dislike each other. I'd have to change that by making sure the winners gloated and the losers pouted and made up excuses. This naturally builds bad blood and rivalries develop. A little shoving and name calling or a good old fashioned cat fight before the matches wouldn't hurt either.

2. Add the fashion. Make sure the bowlers wore shirts sponsored by Funkesoul, Sean John, Roca Wear, Tommy Bahama, etc. Nike or Stacy Adams could handle the shoes and Prada could design a new short shorts for the ladies.

3. Add the stereotypes like wrestling. Wrestling has Ricky the Dragon Steamboat, The Soul Patrol, Spanish Red, and the British Bulldogs. A little something for everybody that brings it all together. I would have bowlers with different ethnic backgrounds so everyone would have someone to root for and I would capture all the markets (as a side note this is why Hockey and NASCAR aren't more popular in this country).

4. Add the money. Make the prize money outrageous. I'm talking Wimbledon type money. I'd set up 4 major tournaments and if someone won the grand slamthey would receive a $10,000,000 bonus. Roll a perfect game on TV and win $5,000,000.

5. Add the glamour and glitz. Get the celebrities out. Have Jay-Z and Jack Nicholson sitting in the front row. Have Taylor Swift sing the national anthem. Have one of the bowlers date Derek Jeter. Have one of the bowlers date Kim Kardashian. Have clear bowling balls with uncut diamonds and rubies in the middle. Have Oprah endorse bowling as her favorite sport.

If all these elements can come together I think we have America's new pastime. Wish me luck.